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You are worthy of love and respect, no matter how much you do.
The stories we carry matter.
Childhood trauma often arises in relationships between children and adults. When we experience situations as children in which we feel powerless, threatened, or unsafe, we may be left with long-term consequences that profoundly affect our body and mind. These experiences commonly occur with individuals who are expected to be trustworthy and caring for us, and can influence the development of our personalities, our lifestyle choices, and our beliefs about ourselves and the world.
Unresolved childhood traumatic experiences can lead to:
- Chronic depression
- Constant/frequent high anxiety in social situations
- Harsh self-criticism
- Difficulty calming down when upset
- Self-hatred
- Unhealthy relationship patterns
- Negative self-image
- Relentless perfectionism
- Low self-esteem
- Disordered eating patterns
- Addictive behaviors
- Stress-related physical issues, such as sleep difficulties or digestive issues.
As children, the coping skills we develop in response to these experiences initially help us survive the negative impact. However, these coping skills often no longer serve us as adults, in creating the life we want. In situations where we are expected to function as adults, many of us still use the same coping skills that we developed as children. Naturally, we become confused and fail to create the life that we want and deserve.
Here is an example:
Kathy was frequently left alone in the house with her younger brother starting at the age of 7, as both her parents worked tirelessly running their small shop day and night. Her grandmother was supposed to check on the kids, but she often fell ill and couldn’t attend to the needs of young children. Kathy quickly realized it was her responsibility to make sure that her brother and grandmother were taken care of. She did her best to look after them, despite lacking necessary guidance and support. Although she managed to handle this challenging task, as an adult, she constantly feels anxiety and struggles with perfectionism at work. She often overthinks her conversations with friends after a night out and worries about potentially offending someone. She also feels resentful that she has to cater to others’ needs.
Growing up with narcissistic parents:
Growing up with narcissistic parents can be an emotionally complex experience, often characterized by a pervasive sense of insecurity and confusion. Children in these environments frequently find themselves navigating a world where their needs and feelings are overshadowed by the parents’ need for validation and control. Love and approval may feel conditional, leaving them to grapple with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. They often learn to prioritize their parents’ emotions over their own, leading to a distorted sense of self and difficulty in establishing healthy relationships later in life. The constant emotional turmoil can foster resilience, but it also creates deep-seated scars that take time and effort to heal.
Recognizing that you grew up with narcissistic parents can be incredibly difficult because the patterns of behavior often feel so ingrained in your sense of normalcy. Narcissistic parents are skilled at masking their self-centeredness with manipulation, emotional control, and occasional moments of affection, which can make it hard to distinguish between genuine love and toxic behavior. The constant need for validation, the gaslighting, the emotional neglect, and the inability to set boundaries often become so normalized that they’re not even noticed until much later in life. It can take years of self-reflection, therapy, and a re-examination of your childhood to untangle how these dynamics have shaped your sense of self, your relationships, and your emotional well-being.
Healing from this kind of trauma can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy focused on healing from narcissistic abuse can help you untangle the deep-rooted patterns that were formed in childhood, empowering you to reclaim your sense of self, rebuild healthy boundaries, and heal emotional wounds that may have been buried for years. In a safe, supportive space, we can explore the ways narcissistic parenting shaped your life, while offering tools for self-compassion, emotional resilience, and personal growth. Together, we can break free from the cycles of manipulation, guilt, and shame, and work towards creating a life filled with authenticity and healing. If you’re ready to take that step, reach out to take the first step toward reclaiming your power and your peace.
Let’s work together to:
- Heal unresolved childhood memories that still disturb you
- Learn and practice self-acceptance and self-compassion
- Build strengths and resources
- Create a mature and meaningful adult relationship with your partner
- Parent your own children from a place of love and care, instead of fear and anxiety
- Navigate relationships with your parents and family and set healthy boundaries with them.
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